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Hymns To My Amnesia

by Jay William Henderson

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1.
Pry this weight from my bones Tear apart my ribcage Release the burden in my breast In the tomb of my loves remains For it hinders me a thousand times greater than Newton had known I must spit out this lump in my throat Chew it up and curse my own name It is mine, this is my blame Cry out with blood soaked jowls "This is my shame!" My words salty and metallic Contorting my flimsy flesh "You fool, you fucking fool" "You've created this torturous mess" "You and you alone" Like a serpents strike my tongue confessed Like a stone in my stomach Unable to digest Skin, like plates forging mountains Opening lonesome valleys Eyes flushed and burning Like a river damed of it's strength Now broken and flashing Carving yet more valleys of shame To echo her name... "You fool, you fucking fool" "You've created this torturous mess" "You and you alone" Like a serpents strike my tongue confessed Like a stone in my stomach Unable to digest I will host for this blame It will be my honored guest Until it finally consumes me Or I lay it down and rest
2.
Heart & Hand 02:22
Here I lay my body down Upon a sheet on the cold cold ground Tell my mother I'm afraid With holes in soles and laces frayed Singing la de da de da Singing la de da de da de da Let the grass grow over me Until in darkness I can see The shame I hold in heart and hand Let it be baptized by the land Singing la de da de da Singing la de da de da de da Go my son Learn how to stand Plow that field Get some dirt on your hands And sing them sweet Softly completeq Singing la de da de da de da
3.
Persephone 03:45
the earth unlocked and swallowed my bride so I dug to its core but still I was denied for there she sat bound, gagged and tied she said darling you must go and leave me inside Persephone my darling when are you coming home for the icy grip of winter has chilled me to the bone I need your loving to birth the seeds I've sown darling when are you coming home and Hades laughed at the messy aftermath his laughter I did not know I was too deaf blind and daft the stars they spoke of good things to come cocooned here in snow though the cold burned and stung Persephone my darling when are you coming home for the icy grip of winter has chilled me to the bone and I need your light now to birth the seeds I've sown darling when are you coming home
4.
Throne 04:55
hold me please and comfort me in your wild carefree embrace me in your moistened leaves and steeped extremities grey and gracious aroused and anxious keep me respectful please aware of your offering goddess divine I'll offer up my mind with the moon hanging low resting on your spine light me a path carefully through this memory a flash of electricity from which my fear does flee soak the sorrow from the bone seat yourself upon this throne bless this soul who knows that he knows nothing goddess divine I'll offer up my mind with the moon hanging low resting on your spine
5.
White Dress 04:05
so the wind took me as her love and she picked me up and held me close she whispered across my bones and hollowed them until they could sing and she'd push and blow these clouds up and the mountain wore them tightly like a skirt as I ascended to her lakes she allowed me to drink from her stream (chorus) so what about that white dress you're wearing don't leave me despairing for what I've been denied don't leave my festering hands alone lets put some flesh on bone please, I'm begging I slept here upon her shore where her fiddle legged band would play still drunk, brash and unafraid I thanked her for the bed she made I know I've spoken of these things yes, rich words weighted heavy in love and honey I hope you can excuse my tongue for its wickedly honest meanderings (chorus) so what about that white dress you're wearing don't leave me despairing for what I've been denied don't leave my festering hands alone lets put some flesh on bone please, I'm begging
6.
I Won't Beg 03:53
whisper this prayer send it on the wind was hoping my answers coming fast I must be a fool for thinking I’d last but theres no blade sharp enough when you fighting with the past oh my god I won’t beg no more fall to the floor and weep with the soil in the posture of a birthing mum raise up your head shake off the dead in your fathers voice beaming like the sun oh my god I won’t beg no more
7.
Tide 04:31
inside you you beckoned to me just like the moon sings to the sea we push and pull I await your return and upon your skin a lesson learned and upon your skin where our bodies churned I lost myself In you tide bearing moon I lost myself in your sea soaked womb free of form the great I am and upon your shores I became a man and upon your shores I kissed the sand this parched desert this parched desert heart leave my love I've given all I can I'll plant this love in the sand and in that dance that dance we learned from the sea and the moon our bodies yearned upon your lips grace was found with the sea in our eyes and the moon abound with the sea in our eyes where god was found this parched desert this parched desert heart leave my love I've given all I can I'll plant this love in the sand I miss that dance that dance we learned its inside my heart where our love burned my body has withered longing for the moon my body has withered may the sea come soon my body has withered in the absence of the moon
8.
9.

credits

released July 15, 2014

Players:

Mikel Azpiroz - B3 Piano
Tyler Lambourne - Upright Bass
Dylan Schorer - Pedal Steel, Lap Steel, High Strung Guitar, Electric Guitar
Trevor Henderson - Electric Piano, Piano
Ryan Shengren King - Pump Organ
Pat Campbell - Drums
Scott Wiley- Elec Guitar, Marxophone
Ryan Shupe - Fiddle
Kiki Buehner - Vocal
Marie Bradshaw - Vocal
Debra Fotheringham - Vocal
Mark Smith - Mandolin, Baritone Guitar
Jay William Henderson - Acoustic Guitar, Vocal

Production

Scott Willey - Producer, Mixer, Head Engineer
Ryan Shengren King - Assistant Engineer
Recorded @ June Audio
Reuben Cohen - Mastering Engineer
Mastered @ Lurssen Mastering

Artwork:

Teresa Flowers - photography
Jay William Henderson - landscape photography
Ryan Tanner - layout design

All Songs Written By Jay William Henderson
(feralfrequency/sesac)

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Jay William Henderson Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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